WHAT A CUCK COMES HOME TO...

This week has been another hectic one for me and Miss X, and the last few days I've been sick with flu like symptoms.

Tonight, Miss X had been looking forward to her date her at home with a guy she's seen once before. A heavily hung 28 year old. After working all day and hurting badly most of the day, I couldn't muster up much enthusiasm.

This was discouraging to Miss X but what to do, her lover was on the way!! So we sent her real man a text explaing tht wussy me was ill. He texted back and thenc alled and Miss X out of ploite obligation explained to hi taht she was taking me out to dinner and to relax.

But you just can't deprive my glorious Mistress of cock for too long, so instead, she sent me out to bring back Chinese and shooed me away for a good hour and half. She sent me a text telling me she was coated in cum , that she was giddy and came two times.

I came home and was anxious to hear the details, but alas my Goddess had a bit too much wine so no real details were forth coming, but the evidence of her fun was right there for to me...sending me back into my roiling of stew of permanent denial and realization of my inadequacies.

I have not cum in 19 days.

TORTURE TEASE TODAY..

Miss X is particularly devilsh these days, giddy over meeting a couple of her lovers in the next couple days and relishing my humiliation and torture. Today she Started to taunt me by pull out my short pubic hairs one by one with tweesers and then gliding my little cock between her lips, driving me insane andIv'e had no really touching two weeks.

She very gifted at "the Tease" and can sense when I am about to peak, giggles, and backs away, leaving me moanign pelading and ready to agree to about anything. I beg to stick my cock inside her as she slide her pussy lips against my dinky shaft and laughed uproariously when i asked if i could slide in for just a moment. After keeping me on the edge for a good 40 minutes, she went about her day leaving me quite literally panting and pelading and hoping for her to real man's cock soon...fucking her hard in our bed.... so maybe, just maybe, I will get to cum....

WHILE MISTRESS , i abide, horny and with a sore ass

Miss X is very busy these days and I've not seen for a day or to. Nevertheless, I am stuck without release and my libido beings to well up, like the little bubble chasing to the top of a pot before the water roils to a full boil.

I made the Goddess snack as a lunch, re-arranged the songs on her IPod, which took almost three hours because I had to make whole new play lists for Her, and I know she's getting that cock-hungry lust that is always there.

Miss X spanked me several times in the last few days, once for wanting to reverse a DVR 'ed TV Show she was watching and another at her whim. She's a powerful lady and not to be taken lightly.

Today is a good day for me, walking about glorious sun drenched Seattle, taunted by the scantily clad denizens of the rather trendy neighborhood in which we live. Seattle is scurrying in many directions as the crusie ships are in, The Folklife festival is at full throttle and the Mariners are in town.

This week should be rather wicked.

THE GLORIOUS MISS X IS SEEKING SPRING TIME COCK

My glorious and exalted Mistress has been having fun lately, flirting with potential fuck buddies while continually reminding me of my Lilliputian penis.

The weather has finally turned deliciously dry and warm in Seattle (warm in Seattle is mid-60's this time of year) Its been a particularly lovely blooming season with rhododendrons and azaleas competing for bees and butterflies with the finest array of bright flowers seen here in decades. We've enjoyed the city with walks through Seattle's verdant parks and along the waterfront.

I am counting the days until Miss X must go back on the road for business with dread, but understanding. Have her ubiquitous splendor near me every day has me spoiled.

With fear, trepidation and excitement I await the arrival of my chastity device, a small cage (of course) CB-6000. Meanwhile I am regulated to the panited bitch on the sidelines while The Goddess seeks hung and horny cock monsters to satiate her omnipresent lust for pleasure.

Today she may be meeting a guy from the US Army...

BACK TO DENIAL

Its been a delightful week and no new poest from me as Miss X and I have been busy with work, visitors and surfing the vanilla wave. But I never finished the last post which ended with Miss X allowing me an Earth shattering knee weakening orgasm unike any I hve ever had!


Of course now its back to denial for me.

Over the weekend, we visited the Seattle Aboretum which is splendid this time of year, the colorful Azeals and Rhodies all in spectacular array , this year in particular! We also went to the symphony and saw a Gershwin collection highlighted by Marvin Hamlisch's humor and musical brillance and a wonderful crsip verson of The Rhapsody in Blue.

This week will be heating up in the sub department and I am already in trouble for not updating This Blog.

NEW HUMILIATION AND SWEET RELEASE

Yesterday Miss X had one of her long time liasions over for a little fun. For those of you following this blog, you know She loves to watch men jack off. She stares at a pumping fist likee a cat about to devour a mouse.

She had a friend over who she's known longer than me, and I was actually supposed to be gone but circumstances kept me here, so I stayed quietly n the bedroom while they chatted in the lving rooom. She let him know that i was in the other room and rather than make him nervous, it seemed to inspire him! In fact, for the first time ever, he finger banged her and I could her familiar moans of pelasure...qucikly he was cumming hard and after he was shuttled out the doors, Miss X prudly had me lick her messy fingers....

Much more happened but my time is short, so part II will follow.

A weekend of varied kink and fun!

This was a very busy weekend indeed and too much to encapsulate with the time I have to blog today, so I will hit the highlights!

Miss X and I had a delightful time strolling about beautiful Seattle on Sunday, noshing , taking in the warm sun and the plethora of fashionable boutiques. We are fortunate enough to lviv downtown, which affords us quick access to lots of wonderful venues.

Friday night we went to a private "mingles" party where like minded sex focused others gathered and it was a bit slow and pokey but the people were very nice; we shall return next week. On Saturday, we had a long frank talk and wrote down our thoughts and game plan for each other. "Communication is so critical." The phrase is trite, the practice is not and it is an acquired art form requiring dicsipline and mutual respect. We laid down some rules and guideposts for each other, recognizing that our relationship has to remain supple and flexibile and at the same time, stout.

She also devleoped a list of things for me accomplish this week, including finding her more suitable fuck buddies. Shamefully, a task I much enjoy.

Miss X decided to shave my chest hair and pubic region, a humiliating experience, and she enjoys the removal of the last vestiages of masculinitny that are remianing. I am now to be nude or in panties when home with her, my bald little cock bouncing about to her giggles and gaffaws.

She also wrote in huge letters across my stomach "CUCKOLD PUSSY" and a "Tiny Dick" with an arrow sign poiting down and ordered me to wear this all week to keep me immersered in the reality of my plight.

Many times through the weekend, she brought me to the brink of orgasm, watching me writhe and wriggle in unededing torture. She also extended my cahstity until next Friday because I coudl not find a magazine she wanted.

Lastly, she also anounced that she would be doing no housework, that was all up to me now.

Tomorrow, Miss X has a very special event planned for me! Check back to read the details...

Writhing in a submissive mental state

Miss X liked the email I send her yesterday and ordered me to post it for all to read as further humilation for me.

"Goddess,

i woke today feeling mentally molded and chained to my Goddess. My balls are heavy and my deep cravings pounding through my arteries and veins like a mind controlling drug. I am mentally becoming resigned to your whims.

Your steady daily flow of cutting words are brain washing me into truly being your chaste and helpless bitch, owned by you and dependant on living my life adhered to your whims and smirks, feeling your love and disdain in equal quantities.

I woke up dreaming of giving your little pussy a heartfelt kiss, a silent acknowledgment to that which controls me and that i can have never have and don't deserve. I want to be shaved and emasculated for you, hairless and pantied and ridiculed.

I dream of the days when muscled big cocked men are driving deep into you, and you look into my eyes with that satisfied look that only a good fuck can bring...you knowing the pain and shame I am enduring, wanting so much to be the one inside you and knowing it just can't be. Seeing you spoiled by the big dick I can't ever give you.

Wanting to share my life with you as your darling pathetic cherished pet that can never give you what a real man should. Living a life where you remind me of my place, loved as not other, while at the bottom of the your totem pole.

Teased to the bring, manipulated, slowly trained to crave pain as much as pleasure. Confusing your love for a slap. Relish your tender touch, your slightest brush your lightest frustrating touch on my cock and your bitch slaps and spankings with equal desire.

Craving your lick on my cock as much as your humiliating comments. Always striving to impress you.

Always trying to prove my worth you. Loving you as a girlfriend and a Mistress with equal amounts of effort and sincerity.

I'm off to work, with my desire roiling, realizing I can't cum for another week, resigned grudgingly to that frustrating fact and understanding it is what is best for me,

love and humility.,

t"

TEASEATRIX

Another great day, worked hard and got off a bit early and picked up the delicious Miss X in a rainy Seattle city scene then scuttled her off to a fashionable cafe and wine bar where we snacked on interesting and varied flat bread selections.

Light conversation lingered as we watched the rain fade to drizzle and the collection of eclectic Seattle eccentrics mosey to and fro. We left and zig zagged through the city's hilly posh neighborhoods for fun and during this sojourn, she reiterated with the clarity of a ringing bell that I would never have intercourse again. There was a time when she shied away from this notion, but now she's bought in and truly seems to relish the absolute and unequivocal denial. But to add to my shame, she insisted that my only sexual release will be to make myself available to men both orally and rectally for her amusement. Shamefully, this direct type of debasement sends tingles of excitement and devotion through me, and yet scares me.

Eventually, we ended back home. Miss X had me on the bed, nude and at her mercy. She began to play with me, taunting me with a seductive glare, amused at my pleading eyes and writhing form.

And then she did that thing that sends me into a frenzy, a single finger sliding up and down the underside of my cock, lubed with baby oil and driving me insane! She'd stoke me close then leave to play on the computer, and search for real men...After twenty minutes of my agony, she told me I could cum if I could take 15 hard spanks. Now Miss X Is by far the strongest woman I've known, and delivered a solid 15 spanks, the final hard blow using a thick book.

She wouldn't jack me off, but allowed me to cum which to her surprise, I refused. YEAH! I refused, which was very difficult, but I wanted to show Her that I was serious in my devotion. This act of sincerity brought no particular mercy from the Goddess, though. She told me I'd have to wait another week! Another week. (sigh) Another week.

A day of fun and filthy fantasies..

Miss X and I had a lovely yesterday...we chatted over morning coffee and went about our morning rituals, including a peek a the highlights of American Idol on DVR. I'm an Idolite and music fantatic and will share my favorite moments with Miss X.

We then drove about and wandered through the city , something we both enjoy before stopping for lunch as one of our favorite neighborhood spots. The highlight of the day was a long frank conversation about some painful events in the past for us both. Its cathartic and useful to illumainte some gnawing mental tribulations. Sunlight cures dark corners. We are communicating better than ever, mostly due to some commitments I've made to being more open, and Miss X is also very measured and serene in her ability to explain her feelings to me in a thoughtful non-confrontational style.

We also made plans for a VERY naughty weekend, you'll jsut have to come back to this blog to hear about it . HINT: More big cocks for Miss X, more frustration for me. Miss X sent me reeling with one she verablized one of her rediculously demented fantasties that rocked me to the core, while intriquing and delighting me. She'd like to get a big well hung dominate guy to come over. I would be sent to the bedroom with the orders that I was not to disturb Misstress for any reason while she watched her favorite television show. Of course, while the show was on, the male Dom could do anything he wanted with me, and my cries and pleas would be ignored. In fact, I'd have to be quiet so as not to distrub Mistress.

She envisions me being orally raped, choking on his big cock, and being violated in the most degrading way while she nibbles on a little plate of snack I prepared for her, drinking her wine and letting the Dom enjoy his victim. Of course, this disturbingly horriffic and deeply erotic story has kept my little cock turgid ever since.

Midday, Miss X and I parted ways and she spent the night at a friends while I worked. Its been a week since I've cum, and the haivng Her back in my midst, teasing me and taunting me is driving me insane with desire . It is amazing how changes my attitudes and perspectives. If more men were kept chaste, it would be a different a world, indeed.

JACK OFF JACK OFFS!

So its no secret that Ms. X loves to watch thick big cock, its always been one of her most stalwart personal fetishes. And why not? There are plenty of men, millions even, who would love to stoke their man-meat while a beautiful woman licks her lips and watches intently. In fact, Ms. X has a few hung fellows she's seen occassionally over the years who are respectful, prompt and delighted to have an opportunity to perform. Let's face it, this is VERY erotic. And if Miss X is in the mood and likes the bloke, he might get a little head and maybe, just maybe, a little more!

But here's the rub (pun intentional). .. You would think a simple Craig's List ad would be a slam dunk easy way to recruit lovers and jerkers for the Fabulous, sensual, delightful Miss X. Not so! While she has met some delightful people this way, including moi, her future husband, the site is rife with phony players, flakes and phonies. To wit: two nights ago a guy insisted he was coming over, we had his phone number, he said he was coming, we waited an hour and ...NO SHOW! He text messaged me the next day and said he had an "emergency". Sure ya did, assbite. Oh well, there's always tomrrow.

The next day: We are fortuante enough to live in a very trendy Seattle waterfront neighborhood, so last night we ventured to some wonderful happy hours and imbibed a bit early in some wine and amazing appertizers. The conversation was light and fun, including Her assertion that on our weeding night I wil not be fucking her, it'll be the man or men of her choice to connsuamte our marraige and put and exclaimation point on the futlity of my sexual abilites, including the possiblity of an old lover of her's of whom I amquite jealous. A strapping guy she once proclaimed broought her the best knee weakening oragasm of her life. A firefighter with perfect pecs.

So the mood was pefect and Miss X decided that , well, what the hell... she was a feeling happy, why not get a guy to come over RIGHT NOW and pound her little tight pussy hard while I watched helplessly as a bigger man ravaged her. Cock procurement is a primamary function of mine as her subby cuck. Our ad clearly said she was READY NOW.

The first guy said he was coming from a suburb 20 minutes away and he had to "take a quick shower." A few texts and POOF, he disappaered, another NO SHOW. Cleverly, I had a back up, a guy "10 minutes away". He said he'd come over, then lamley explained he was getting tired. another NO SHOW. My final option was a big strapping black dude who also said he could come over, but later said "tomorrow or so will be better" another NO SHOW.

By now the mood was gone, Miss X was snoozing and I was watching American Idol, my little cock, as usual, oozing pre cum and thumping with frustration. The bottom line is I failed in my mission to get Miss X the cock she needed so I am sure in the coming days I will be punished for this. But it amazes both of us how many men are simply pathetic wankers without follow-through.

MONDAY NIGHT FROLIC,,,

Miss X arrived last night and we enjoyed a delightful lunch, and my thoughts drifted off to her meeting with a new fellow who was simply going to jack off for her...she loves to watch big cocks and since she's stuck with mine, who can blame her?

When we arrived home, Miss X began teasing me...playing with me here and there. Giving me a "faux job", her mouth hovering over my cock, with an occassional lick to remind me of the greatness other men get. Driving me insane with the one finger trick. Amazing how one finger and a little baby oil can make a man crazy! Her reasing is delicious cruel...occassionaly feding me my pre-cum and laughing at my patheticness.

Soon she was primping and preening, making herself beautiful for the arrival of her new friend. She ordered me to get her a glass of wine and I took a sip from her glass without asking. I was ordered to stand before her and she dielvered a sold blow to my balls which sent me stumbling bakcwards onto the bed, much to her dleight as proven byher hearty giggles. I won't make that mistake again!

Her date arrived and I sat duitfully in the bed room, listening to theie light conversation, in my pool of humiality as I herad her gush over his huge cock. She twittered about how much bigger he was than me, at least twice as large. There conversation ended and I herd the unmistakable sounds of her givng a luciosu blow job. This would not just be a jerk off session, and that was validated shortly thereafter by her ecstatic monas as his big pole entred her, I could hear the greatfullness in her voice from being filled fully with real cock.

Me? Sitting helpleesly with my tiny useless nub, greatful my Mistress was getting the pleasure she so deserves.

The deep groanns contnued untl her pulled out, whipped off his condom and came copiously across her ample bosom. Soon, she was drifitng into a satisfied sleep, while I was left cleaning up the condom wrappers, beer and wine glasses, etc..I wanted to taste her well used pussy, but that would be for another day...

An Email from Miss X to share

Here's a peek into the wonderful (and sometimes scary) world in which I live....I received permission from the glorious Miss X to publish this email she sent me yesterday before she arrived back in town:

"You will be treating me like the true Goddess that I am this coming week. you know what that means. you are nothing to me-a useless man until I see that you can prove your worth to me (do I see a good cocksucking in the future?); I want for you to tell me how much you care and value me, how I have treated you lovingly and with respect because I do understand you, I do know you and now you have the glorious opportunity to show it to me. Show me your love and devotion because actions speak louder than words, and I want you to shout it from the rooftop. I want to tie you up; I can be gentle-how you've sorely underestimated me. I will start out slow, but I will also make you howl in pain, and your buttocks glisten with a sweet plump redness. you will want more. you will need more. I will burn into your mind like a hot ember-never dying, only growing. you know this. you can't deny it. you cant hide. Even in your mind you know that I am your superior, and so real, I put you to shame. you will know this as I feed you your own pitiful dribbling salty cum. you will know this as I rub ice cubes along your ass crack, you will know this as I attatch clothespins to your nut sack. you will know how much I adore my litte sub when you open your mouth, (perhaps with a shade of "rio red" on?) and be my bitch. you will enjoy this as much as I enjoy telling you to do so. do you fully understand? do you? Miss X"

The kinkfest is on!

Today's post will be brief as I have a had a very busy day, both working and scrubbing the house in anticipation of Miss X's return. Shopping for her favorite foods, wine, etc..

Today I placed two ads at Miss X's direction. The first is for large cocked men to come over and jack off for her. Of course, if at any point she finds the guy attrative and as the incliation, she just might fuck them. That's always her right.

The second is a similar ad, except the guy is to jack off on me, while she enjoys the humiliating show. Details and maybe even pictures to follow...

SCRUB BUT NO RUB, preparing for the Goddess..

Today is the day before the Goddess return so I am busy preparing for Her. Scrubbing the house and the tub (she loves to take long sensuous baths) scurrying to get candles and flowers and wines and chocolates.

I also dutifully make sure she has condoms and cute things to wear in case she decides to indulge in a lover while she's back in town.

But of course, its strictly "scrub but no rub" . No masturbation for me, so my excitement builds and my servile nature deepens.

I was ordered to place a CL ad for possible masturbaters for the Goddess to watch and she narrowed it down to about ten candidates, all, of course, with substantially larger cocks than mine.

I'm off to work (my day) job, but will post daily as the week unfolds.

The Goddess returns Sunday, and its gonna get wild!

The gorgeous and glorious Miss X will be returning from a prolonged bunisness trip on Sunday, and she's ordered me to get some sexy items for her as its my job to assist her to be prepared in case she decides to fuck a man with a real cock,

a pleasure stick, not a small laughable nub as she reminds me often.

Tonight she taunted me with memories of one of her favorite lovers of yore, a straping hard bodied man with a big dick and the skill to make her curvy craving body weak with pleasure and rosy with unrelenting desire.

This coming (cumming?) week will be filled with pleasure for her and the typical unyeilding humailtion for me as she reminds that I am here to humor her as her sexless lump of servitude, pin cushion and servile man-cunt.

As I sufffer through teainsg, its as if she's opened a trap door in the a mental dungeon and pushes me tumbling helpless to my fate of crining immodesty. I want to be a man, a real man, but clearly I can never really be. I am not equipped to satisfy a hot, cock-loving lovely creature like herself. So the best I can do is amuse her, provide for her and suffer for her..frolicing in my desperation to be noticed.

Its my job to continually prove me devotion by degrading myself...its my way of serving at her altar.