In my new CB-6000s, thoughts, fears and fun...

Yesterday I finally found a configuration that seems to work on the CB-6000s, the "s" standing for small cage, since my cock is so minuscule.

When I am completely soft I could pull out, but then there is no way to get back in, so for the most part, its pretty secure. Ultimately, I'll need a PA Piercing in order to be held 100 % in chastity.

This model is much more comfortable the the CB-2000 which i have tired to wear in the past and it just didn't work without damaging my cock.

Its amazing how having your cock locked up makes you feel almost instantly. Helpless, servile, silly, with an almost untenable urge to touch yourself. It is erotic and esoteric, frightening to give up the power. I am doing practice runs now until Miss X gets back.

I fantasize about a new world for me, in which I become a sexual clown for Miss X, an emotional punching bag for her sexual fun. Once I am locked up, I immediately feel less significant as a man. Not quite a woman, but a bitch nevertheless. This is scary, because I like my life as it is to a degree, but also know I need to be pushed to be the sub male I truly am.

Colorful scenarios swirl through my brain in whcih I am transformed into Miss X's foil for humiliation. More thoughts and updates to follow soon...

A day of fun and filthy fantasies..

Miss X and I had a lovely yesterday...we chatted over morning coffee and went about our morning rituals, including a peek a the highlights of American Idol on DVR. I'm an Idolite and music fantatic and will share my favorite moments with Miss X.

We then drove about and wandered through the city , something we both enjoy before stopping for lunch as one of our favorite neighborhood spots. The highlight of the day was a long frank conversation about some painful events in the past for us both. Its cathartic and useful to illumainte some gnawing mental tribulations. Sunlight cures dark corners. We are communicating better than ever, mostly due to some commitments I've made to being more open, and Miss X is also very measured and serene in her ability to explain her feelings to me in a thoughtful non-confrontational style.

We also made plans for a VERY naughty weekend, you'll jsut have to come back to this blog to hear about it . HINT: More big cocks for Miss X, more frustration for me. Miss X sent me reeling with one she verablized one of her rediculously demented fantasties that rocked me to the core, while intriquing and delighting me. She'd like to get a big well hung dominate guy to come over. I would be sent to the bedroom with the orders that I was not to disturb Misstress for any reason while she watched her favorite television show. Of course, while the show was on, the male Dom could do anything he wanted with me, and my cries and pleas would be ignored. In fact, I'd have to be quiet so as not to distrub Mistress.

She envisions me being orally raped, choking on his big cock, and being violated in the most degrading way while she nibbles on a little plate of snack I prepared for her, drinking her wine and letting the Dom enjoy his victim. Of course, this disturbingly horriffic and deeply erotic story has kept my little cock turgid ever since.

Midday, Miss X and I parted ways and she spent the night at a friends while I worked. Its been a week since I've cum, and the haivng Her back in my midst, teasing me and taunting me is driving me insane with desire . It is amazing how changes my attitudes and perspectives. If more men were kept chaste, it would be a different a world, indeed.

Cummer's Remorse

Miss X is out of own and this morning I felt the overwelming undisiciplined urge to jack off. Tesed and denied subs will totally relate to what I call "Cummer's Remorse". The truth is I am submissive in my sexual thoughts 90% of the time, and this is amplified when I am teased and denied. However, immediately after I cum I feel a chemical let-down. A sense of remorse and rediculousness at my behavior prior. The orgasms feel great and even neccesary sometimes, but the feeling directly after climax and lingering for a short while is that of disdain for my submissiveness and a desire to foresake it and be the Type A macho guy.

That happened today, and it disappated within twenty mintures. Most men won't talk of this, but its important for Dommes to know. It is chemical, it is short lived and it is real.

There's no sense in getting angry at your bitch, leave him alone, then tease him back up and he'll be ready to be your bitch once more!