Miss X’s out-of-town new lover!!

It began on Thursday. Miss X began to ramp up her nearly unbearable teasing. She released me from my Cb-3000s and supervised me as I cleaned my self. She then had me lay on the bed and took a tiny bit of baby oil and began to make little circles on my penis with the tip of her index finger. I groan and moaned as its been a solid two weeks since my last orgasm, and even that was "ruined".

She breathed on my neck and made me verbalize devotion to her and that I was there for her humor, entertainment and would do anything for her. I recited the various mantras she issued. That she was in charge and that my tiny cock was never to enjoy her tight little pussy. That I was honored to suffer for her and remain chaste. After twenty minutes, I was delirious and nearly panting for release. She simply smiled and held back a giggle ad I air thrusted, craving release so badly.

She allowed me to join her on the couch and we watched re-runs of Law and Order and she had me next to her, nude, as she occasionally toyed with me. Cruelly, she ordered me back into the CB-3000s, but not with my unabated begging, which only ended when she delivered two hard face slaps and sent me to bed whimpering, dribbling and frustrated, a malleable mush, anxious to please and feeling a faggoty glow that I only get when so deeply induced into a catatonic sub-state.

Friday, Miss X announced that I was take her shopping. After work, we met in Seattle's upscale U-Village where we went to a very upscale lingerie shop called Zovo. She had me help her pick out two sexy ensembles and as I paid, the sales lady said "This is really more for you than her anyway" With a big knowing smile. I returned the smile and Miss X interrupted with a giggle. "He's never allowed sex with me anyway". The sprite late-20's sales lady gave a nervous little "Oh!" and I felt my face turning bright red.

Later we shopped at Nordstrom and Miss X picked a slinky black dress and some pricey Jimmy Choo shoes. When we got home I of course got undressed as is my requirement, and she modeled the be bra, panties and shoes for me. My tiny pecker strained against the locked up confinement and Miss X played with the key dangling between her full round breasts. "Of course you know pet, I bought these for real man, and I want you thank me now for the privilege of paying for all this". I dropped to my knees and kissed her feet, elevated by the heels and begged for release. Al this did was secure a firm spanking for myself and that night I went to bed with a very sore ass.

Saturday she announced mid-day that a handsome guy she had met when she was working in California was coming to town and she would be meeting him privately . I stayed at home and talk to other sub cucks on my cheap-ass Nite Flirt account (the paltry proceeds of which go directly to Miss X). My entire body ached for release, my body pounding with lust. Occasionally, Miss X would email me blurry photos from her rendezvous. I could tell they were in a nice restaurant, then back at a hotel.

When Miss X came home about 1:30am, she was exhausted and told me I would have to wait for this morning (Sunday) for details. Miss X told me to make her coffee and to report back to the bed room. She told me how handsome her need fuck buddy was and how magnificent his large cock felt. But rather than take her word for it, she said she did something special. She recorded 40 minutes of their loud fucking on her IPhone. I was forced to listen her moans and deep guttural cries of pleasure. At one point I heard her begging him to stick it back inside of her, and I could hear him push and grunt louder when he told him he was so much better than me.

Finally, with a look of sheer zeal on her face, Miss X told me I could cum if I met her conditions. (As if I had a real choice) I was to be impaled on a knobby dildo and she would attach two clothes pins to my nipples that she would twist as I came. OF course, I gratefully agreed and came as hard as I ever had. My nipples throbbing in pain, and I was fully satiated for the first time in many weeks.

The rest of the day we spend at the Ballard Farmer's Market, sipping wine, buying veggies and sampling various treats and listening to the struggling buskers.

It was a great weekend!!

MIss X hits town w/ girlfriend...finds new lucky lover...

Miss X has a wicked new girlfriend, Kiah*, an edgy, tall gal pal she's known for some years, but recently they've been going out for a drink here and there and revelations have been coming. Turns out Kiah is wild and a bit of boy chaser.

One of the things I love about Miss X is that she is comfortable in any environment. Posh five star hotels or the workin' man's bar at the end of the pier. Kiah prefer local stomps and she invited Miss X to the "Hennigan's Road"*, an established local pool table and two handle keg house.

Throughout they night they laughed, and joked, sharing past ribald experiences and little by little Miss X is realizing that Kiah would make an excellent "partner in crime", for they both have similar likes. Big dick'ed men and a little hurt when it comes to certain men. They are both not shy to the thought of delivering a bitch slap to a well deserved male.

As the weekend evening out turned more flirty, Miss X began sending me photos via her IPhone. Two girls laughing, while I saayed home and dutifully did laundry, cleaned the kitchen and moaned and my ability to touch my puny cock that is locked tightly in my CB-6000s.

As the evening grew later, the photos became a bit more quizzical. A blurred photo of them leaving the bar, what looked to be a third party? Hard to tell in the fuzzy Fellini-esque photos of dark shadows, green felt and neon. As Miss X told me she might crash at Kiah's house, I wasn't too concerned that I didn't hear from her.

The next day, Miss X told me what a great time she had with Kiah, and that she expected the wild play to escalate, she had a new kinky playmate. ( Miss X is straight and not bi, but game to go on the make and hunt in a pack) I Was busy at work and Miss X missed each other due to our busy schedules. But when I cam home the next night, there was a card waiting for me. The first line of the card told me to make sure to be wearing panties while I read the note.

I went and grabbed my black silkies, Miss X likes to keep me in a state of semi-feminized disgrace to remind me of my position when I am reading about her superior lovers. I knew this note would be meaningful. It was an over-sized card and the first panel was quite a lovely melange of remembrances. This is an anniversary for us, four years of togetherness, and she discussed some of the loveliness of making a relationship work. The second and third panel described what happened that night at Hennigan's Road.

Miss X met Kiah and her boy Toy Phil. Turns out Phil has a brother, David, and the four of them spent the night flirting and drinking until Miss X decided to go home with David . Miss X graphically described how great it felt to deep throat his large veined cock...my little member twitched helpless in its prison. She told me how she rode his thick rod to multiple orgasms until she crashed into a satisfied ball on the bed. She reminded me how she deserved this pleasaure and that it was my duty to encourage her.

I sat twisting in my pathetic pool of precum, oozing through my tight black panties, knowing that the next time we meet, I may be the bitch getting fucked by her big black rod.

Since the card, Miss X told me she fully expects to take Kiah to a swingers club where she gang bangs herself to sexual satisfaction. As I write this post, my body is craving release and my submissive nature is at full throttle...



*names of persons or local bars are changed for privacy purposes.

Tic Toc, Tic Toc...

The minutes seem like hours as await my Gorgeous Goddess' return! I am now stuck in chastity, awaiting to present her the keys. I've been locked up almost two days now and the blood is beginning to roil, only to amplified 50 fold by her presence. I am carving her touch, her torment, and her gleeful smirk as I suffer for her amusement. I have never loved a woman like I do her

As part of my assignment while she was gone, I was ordered to find her a sub to provide oral servitude to her. I of course, will once again be denied and forced to watch. The trick, of course, is to wade through all the flakes and find the lucky sub who gets the treat I am refused.

I am excited by Her return, as there ar no major trips for Her planned. All that stands between us is our mutally busy schedules.

New Chastity Device on its way...

I am off on a short business trip so I don't have a lot of time to blog, but today I ordered a new type of chastity device that should be more secure and functionale that the last. Its called the CB-6000s, the "s" standing for small, as the cage is smaller, designed for tiny cocks like mine.

Unlike my previous CB-2000, this has a hinged opening and different style of security pins that promises not to pinch.

Being locked in chastity in a scary thing. It changes the brain chemistry and clicks on a more submissive nature. It takes a lot of discipline and trust. Obviously I am quite nervous, and would appreciate any comments, suggestions or thoughts. Since Miss X loves tease , denial humiliation and cukcolding, this new device is the perfect addition to her arsenal. Will write more soon...

The Return of Miss X

So after suffering in a bland vanilla morass, the gorgeous tempestuous Miss X is returning on Monday! I can hardly wait!!!!

For a peek into my world, here was her email to me (slightly edited for privacy):

"Hello useless groveling sub...



I will be your girlfriend when I arrive (after a suitable greeting offered by you as a sub), but after I have visited with my friend, on Sat. you will be my obedient pet; you will prepare a lunch for us (with cheese, fruit and salami), and a little libation as well. After the concert we will be attending , you may be rejuvenated and joyful, but you have not had any punishment and a long, hard spanking will be necessary. This is at my whim and discretion.


While I am home you will serve me and serve me with pleasure. Seeing as you did not send any Dilettantes, I fully expect to see some waiting for me, as well as a suitable tribute (your ass? a new dildo? femdom books? a gift card to have my hair done? a strapping young stud awaiting your call to come and service me while you watch???....)I also fully expect, that as I call you just before my arrival, you are to be prone-ass high in the air, nose touching the ground-with your door unlocked.

Looking forward to the future-

Miss X

WHAT A CUCK COMES HOME TO...

This week has been another hectic one for me and Miss X, and the last few days I've been sick with flu like symptoms.

Tonight, Miss X had been looking forward to her date her at home with a guy she's seen once before. A heavily hung 28 year old. After working all day and hurting badly most of the day, I couldn't muster up much enthusiasm.

This was discouraging to Miss X but what to do, her lover was on the way!! So we sent her real man a text explaing tht wussy me was ill. He texted back and thenc alled and Miss X out of ploite obligation explained to hi taht she was taking me out to dinner and to relax.

But you just can't deprive my glorious Mistress of cock for too long, so instead, she sent me out to bring back Chinese and shooed me away for a good hour and half. She sent me a text telling me she was coated in cum , that she was giddy and came two times.

I came home and was anxious to hear the details, but alas my Goddess had a bit too much wine so no real details were forth coming, but the evidence of her fun was right there for to me...sending me back into my roiling of stew of permanent denial and realization of my inadequacies.

I have not cum in 19 days.

THE GLORIOUS MISS X IS SEEKING SPRING TIME COCK

My glorious and exalted Mistress has been having fun lately, flirting with potential fuck buddies while continually reminding me of my Lilliputian penis.

The weather has finally turned deliciously dry and warm in Seattle (warm in Seattle is mid-60's this time of year) Its been a particularly lovely blooming season with rhododendrons and azaleas competing for bees and butterflies with the finest array of bright flowers seen here in decades. We've enjoyed the city with walks through Seattle's verdant parks and along the waterfront.

I am counting the days until Miss X must go back on the road for business with dread, but understanding. Have her ubiquitous splendor near me every day has me spoiled.

With fear, trepidation and excitement I await the arrival of my chastity device, a small cage (of course) CB-6000. Meanwhile I am regulated to the panited bitch on the sidelines while The Goddess seeks hung and horny cock monsters to satiate her omnipresent lust for pleasure.

Today she may be meeting a guy from the US Army...

A day of fun and filthy fantasies..

Miss X and I had a lovely yesterday...we chatted over morning coffee and went about our morning rituals, including a peek a the highlights of American Idol on DVR. I'm an Idolite and music fantatic and will share my favorite moments with Miss X.

We then drove about and wandered through the city , something we both enjoy before stopping for lunch as one of our favorite neighborhood spots. The highlight of the day was a long frank conversation about some painful events in the past for us both. Its cathartic and useful to illumainte some gnawing mental tribulations. Sunlight cures dark corners. We are communicating better than ever, mostly due to some commitments I've made to being more open, and Miss X is also very measured and serene in her ability to explain her feelings to me in a thoughtful non-confrontational style.

We also made plans for a VERY naughty weekend, you'll jsut have to come back to this blog to hear about it . HINT: More big cocks for Miss X, more frustration for me. Miss X sent me reeling with one she verablized one of her rediculously demented fantasties that rocked me to the core, while intriquing and delighting me. She'd like to get a big well hung dominate guy to come over. I would be sent to the bedroom with the orders that I was not to disturb Misstress for any reason while she watched her favorite television show. Of course, while the show was on, the male Dom could do anything he wanted with me, and my cries and pleas would be ignored. In fact, I'd have to be quiet so as not to distrub Mistress.

She envisions me being orally raped, choking on his big cock, and being violated in the most degrading way while she nibbles on a little plate of snack I prepared for her, drinking her wine and letting the Dom enjoy his victim. Of course, this disturbingly horriffic and deeply erotic story has kept my little cock turgid ever since.

Midday, Miss X and I parted ways and she spent the night at a friends while I worked. Its been a week since I've cum, and the haivng Her back in my midst, teasing me and taunting me is driving me insane with desire . It is amazing how changes my attitudes and perspectives. If more men were kept chaste, it would be a different a world, indeed.

JACK OFF JACK OFFS!

So its no secret that Ms. X loves to watch thick big cock, its always been one of her most stalwart personal fetishes. And why not? There are plenty of men, millions even, who would love to stoke their man-meat while a beautiful woman licks her lips and watches intently. In fact, Ms. X has a few hung fellows she's seen occassionally over the years who are respectful, prompt and delighted to have an opportunity to perform. Let's face it, this is VERY erotic. And if Miss X is in the mood and likes the bloke, he might get a little head and maybe, just maybe, a little more!

But here's the rub (pun intentional). .. You would think a simple Craig's List ad would be a slam dunk easy way to recruit lovers and jerkers for the Fabulous, sensual, delightful Miss X. Not so! While she has met some delightful people this way, including moi, her future husband, the site is rife with phony players, flakes and phonies. To wit: two nights ago a guy insisted he was coming over, we had his phone number, he said he was coming, we waited an hour and ...NO SHOW! He text messaged me the next day and said he had an "emergency". Sure ya did, assbite. Oh well, there's always tomrrow.

The next day: We are fortuante enough to live in a very trendy Seattle waterfront neighborhood, so last night we ventured to some wonderful happy hours and imbibed a bit early in some wine and amazing appertizers. The conversation was light and fun, including Her assertion that on our weeding night I wil not be fucking her, it'll be the man or men of her choice to connsuamte our marraige and put and exclaimation point on the futlity of my sexual abilites, including the possiblity of an old lover of her's of whom I amquite jealous. A strapping guy she once proclaimed broought her the best knee weakening oragasm of her life. A firefighter with perfect pecs.

So the mood was pefect and Miss X decided that , well, what the hell... she was a feeling happy, why not get a guy to come over RIGHT NOW and pound her little tight pussy hard while I watched helplessly as a bigger man ravaged her. Cock procurement is a primamary function of mine as her subby cuck. Our ad clearly said she was READY NOW.

The first guy said he was coming from a suburb 20 minutes away and he had to "take a quick shower." A few texts and POOF, he disappaered, another NO SHOW. Cleverly, I had a back up, a guy "10 minutes away". He said he'd come over, then lamley explained he was getting tired. another NO SHOW. My final option was a big strapping black dude who also said he could come over, but later said "tomorrow or so will be better" another NO SHOW.

By now the mood was gone, Miss X was snoozing and I was watching American Idol, my little cock, as usual, oozing pre cum and thumping with frustration. The bottom line is I failed in my mission to get Miss X the cock she needed so I am sure in the coming days I will be punished for this. But it amazes both of us how many men are simply pathetic wankers without follow-through.

MONDAY NIGHT FROLIC,,,

Miss X arrived last night and we enjoyed a delightful lunch, and my thoughts drifted off to her meeting with a new fellow who was simply going to jack off for her...she loves to watch big cocks and since she's stuck with mine, who can blame her?

When we arrived home, Miss X began teasing me...playing with me here and there. Giving me a "faux job", her mouth hovering over my cock, with an occassional lick to remind me of the greatness other men get. Driving me insane with the one finger trick. Amazing how one finger and a little baby oil can make a man crazy! Her reasing is delicious cruel...occassionaly feding me my pre-cum and laughing at my patheticness.

Soon she was primping and preening, making herself beautiful for the arrival of her new friend. She ordered me to get her a glass of wine and I took a sip from her glass without asking. I was ordered to stand before her and she dielvered a sold blow to my balls which sent me stumbling bakcwards onto the bed, much to her dleight as proven byher hearty giggles. I won't make that mistake again!

Her date arrived and I sat duitfully in the bed room, listening to theie light conversation, in my pool of humiality as I herad her gush over his huge cock. She twittered about how much bigger he was than me, at least twice as large. There conversation ended and I herd the unmistakable sounds of her givng a luciosu blow job. This would not just be a jerk off session, and that was validated shortly thereafter by her ecstatic monas as his big pole entred her, I could hear the greatfullness in her voice from being filled fully with real cock.

Me? Sitting helpleesly with my tiny useless nub, greatful my Mistress was getting the pleasure she so deserves.

The deep groanns contnued untl her pulled out, whipped off his condom and came copiously across her ample bosom. Soon, she was drifitng into a satisfied sleep, while I was left cleaning up the condom wrappers, beer and wine glasses, etc..I wanted to taste her well used pussy, but that would be for another day...

SCRUB BUT NO RUB, preparing for the Goddess..

Today is the day before the Goddess return so I am busy preparing for Her. Scrubbing the house and the tub (she loves to take long sensuous baths) scurrying to get candles and flowers and wines and chocolates.

I also dutifully make sure she has condoms and cute things to wear in case she decides to indulge in a lover while she's back in town.

But of course, its strictly "scrub but no rub" . No masturbation for me, so my excitement builds and my servile nature deepens.

I was ordered to place a CL ad for possible masturbaters for the Goddess to watch and she narrowed it down to about ten candidates, all, of course, with substantially larger cocks than mine.

I'm off to work (my day) job, but will post daily as the week unfolds.

The Goddess returns Sunday, and its gonna get wild!

The gorgeous and glorious Miss X will be returning from a prolonged bunisness trip on Sunday, and she's ordered me to get some sexy items for her as its my job to assist her to be prepared in case she decides to fuck a man with a real cock,

a pleasure stick, not a small laughable nub as she reminds me often.

Tonight she taunted me with memories of one of her favorite lovers of yore, a straping hard bodied man with a big dick and the skill to make her curvy craving body weak with pleasure and rosy with unrelenting desire.

This coming (cumming?) week will be filled with pleasure for her and the typical unyeilding humailtion for me as she reminds that I am here to humor her as her sexless lump of servitude, pin cushion and servile man-cunt.

As I sufffer through teainsg, its as if she's opened a trap door in the a mental dungeon and pushes me tumbling helpless to my fate of crining immodesty. I want to be a man, a real man, but clearly I can never really be. I am not equipped to satisfy a hot, cock-loving lovely creature like herself. So the best I can do is amuse her, provide for her and suffer for her..frolicing in my desperation to be noticed.

Its my job to continually prove me devotion by degrading myself...its my way of serving at her altar.

The First day of the rest of my life...

This blog will be the discussion of living the Male Submissive Lifestyle from a sub male's point of view. My observation is that there are many fantastical blogs, posts and fantasy sites and that's all fun, but its usually not real. If I have a fantasy, it will be clearly marked as such.

But this blog will serve to document the practical lifestyle of submitting to a naturally dominate female. The foibles and the follies along with the soaring taboo delights. In short, its real.You can be assured that every emotion, every trial and tribulation, every subtle or grandiose experience documented really happened, unless otherwise noted as fantasy.

I am honored to serve my fiancee' Miss X. We've been together over three years and met via a Craigslist ad I had placed requesting that I be kicked in the balls!

At our first meeting, I was enthralled with this magnificent woman. And then we dated. Its been a mostly wonderful highs and some difficult lows, the lows mostly created by me being unable to fully express myself and my need for humiliation, training and my unusual sexual proclivities, most of which Miss X embraces and some of which she may not love, but understands.

The dynamics of a FemDom or D/s relationship can change dramatically once everyday love invades the mental play space. My writings are a living breathing tribute to her, to honesty and expression of one's needs, desires and ultimate fulfillment. To the magnificence of true love and devotion.

It is my intent that the erotic subject matter will entice you to come back and read, to be sure. But at a deeper level, I hope it help others, myself and my relationship with Miss X. I know there are other subs and Dommes struggling just as we have to make this lifestyle workable in the real world. To allow you to have the freedom to be you and enjoy each other. I know that my documentation of our experience together will be uplifting, sometimes cathartic, often entertaining and a testimony to the brilliance of knowing who you are , and the heady elixir of letting go and revealing yourself fully to the person you love without fear of stigmatism.

Recurring themes in our life include: Service , spanking (Miss X enjoys coroporal punishment in many forms) Cuckoldry (one of my favorites) and humiliation , something we both really enjoy and teasing, denial and chastity. In the vanilla world, we both enjoy travel, food, architecture,cinema, music and city life.

Lastly, new Dommes hoping to find a tack in the fickle winds of this lifestyle may find benefit from these missives, so follow along and enjoy. If you want to peek in the mind of a lifelong sub, here's your chance!