A day of fun and filthy fantasies..

Miss X and I had a lovely yesterday...we chatted over morning coffee and went about our morning rituals, including a peek a the highlights of American Idol on DVR. I'm an Idolite and music fantatic and will share my favorite moments with Miss X.

We then drove about and wandered through the city , something we both enjoy before stopping for lunch as one of our favorite neighborhood spots. The highlight of the day was a long frank conversation about some painful events in the past for us both. Its cathartic and useful to illumainte some gnawing mental tribulations. Sunlight cures dark corners. We are communicating better than ever, mostly due to some commitments I've made to being more open, and Miss X is also very measured and serene in her ability to explain her feelings to me in a thoughtful non-confrontational style.

We also made plans for a VERY naughty weekend, you'll jsut have to come back to this blog to hear about it . HINT: More big cocks for Miss X, more frustration for me. Miss X sent me reeling with one she verablized one of her rediculously demented fantasties that rocked me to the core, while intriquing and delighting me. She'd like to get a big well hung dominate guy to come over. I would be sent to the bedroom with the orders that I was not to disturb Misstress for any reason while she watched her favorite television show. Of course, while the show was on, the male Dom could do anything he wanted with me, and my cries and pleas would be ignored. In fact, I'd have to be quiet so as not to distrub Mistress.

She envisions me being orally raped, choking on his big cock, and being violated in the most degrading way while she nibbles on a little plate of snack I prepared for her, drinking her wine and letting the Dom enjoy his victim. Of course, this disturbingly horriffic and deeply erotic story has kept my little cock turgid ever since.

Midday, Miss X and I parted ways and she spent the night at a friends while I worked. Its been a week since I've cum, and the haivng Her back in my midst, teasing me and taunting me is driving me insane with desire . It is amazing how changes my attitudes and perspectives. If more men were kept chaste, it would be a different a world, indeed.

The kinkfest is on!

Today's post will be brief as I have a had a very busy day, both working and scrubbing the house in anticipation of Miss X's return. Shopping for her favorite foods, wine, etc..

Today I placed two ads at Miss X's direction. The first is for large cocked men to come over and jack off for her. Of course, if at any point she finds the guy attrative and as the incliation, she just might fuck them. That's always her right.

The second is a similar ad, except the guy is to jack off on me, while she enjoys the humiliating show. Details and maybe even pictures to follow...

Fantasy: Total Cock Control

I woke this morning with a fairly unrealistic but powerful fantasy of Ms. X taking total control of my cock. Last week she teased me that I'll never have pussy again for the rest of my life. (meaning intercourse)

I envision this powerful world in which I am never allowed to touch my cock because it is no longer mine. She owns it, its Mistress' property. I envision a life as a quasi eunuch, trained to love the gnawing unrelenting desire and devotion to The Goddess.

Having her whisper sweetly in my ear that she loves my suffering and my tribute to her by making the ultimate male sacrifice. She giggles at my predicament, and relishes the lines of frustration that cross my face and she softly plays with my cock...and my mesmerized unspoken pleading.

Perhaps she'll allow me to sit on the couch and she'll take a a tiny drop of baby oil and lightly massage the underside of my cock, creating a throbbing bouncing cock, craving to be held or stroke..but no, she simply rubs the tender little spot that keeps me craving, occasionally making me beg to taste a drop of pre-cum,and then reminding me that no real man would be feed his jizz like a baby bird.

Other times she might use my desire for her sadistic desires. Perhaps she'll promise me a nice long stroke and maybe (maybe) release, only if I will take 50 hard swats with a paddle. My ass glowing red, my chance to cum still totally at her whim. Maybe I'll be made to beg for five more, ten more..and still I might be denied? Its up to Her.

Maybe she's feeling devilish and craving cock. So she has me stand in front of her and explain to her in detail why I am wholly inadequate to pleasure her. Maybe she explains she wants to give a mouth filling blow job, gives me a few little lick,s and then tells me her mouth is reserved today for an actual cock, not a tiny clitty dick.

Perhaps she makes the pronouncement that anytime I cum its a tribute to her, so no drop is to be wasted in the future and I must recycle every orgasms by licking it all up for her. Degrading? Yes. Difficult to do? Yes. Thrilling? Oh God yes...

I see this wonderland of enforced chastity where my only hope for release is by providing Miss X with quality service, devotion and humiliation for Her amusement. Floating though life resigned to being her trained bitch, while she proudly enjoys the deep gratifying pleasures I am continually denied.

Miss X orders me to foretell my humilaiting future.

The sublime Miss X had me write Her an ad tonight soliciting a man or men to come to our abode where she will entertain them with a delightful handjob to completion, something I rarely if ever get. (Miss X can't really be bothered with my small cock when there's such a nice variety of superior cock carried by real men in the world) I will be made to watch her stroke and pleasure the larger dick'ed gents with lusty greed in her eyes and a salivating mouth and when they cum, they'll cum on me in any fashion she chooses...steamy details to follow.

Its not always easy to admit or enact, but the truth is I love to show my devotion to Miss X by enduring humiliating situations. In the vanilla world, I am a pretty tough hombre' in business. So the transition to cum pig/humiliated bitch is not easy, but darkly deilicious and satisfying for us both.

As we are engaged to marry, we are contemplating future arrangements. She loves the whole concept of CFNM (clothed female, nude males) I envision a future of being made to be nude while in the house serivng her, parading my laughable little almost girlie cock around the house serving her as she pleasea.

I'm a big tall dude, so even more rediuclously, I have a fantasies of being made to wear panties as a unifrom and maybe even occassionally stockings. I have no interest in cross dressing (in fact that is pretty repulsive to me) But enuring humiliation for Her is very erotic and keeps me in my place.